Thinking “outside of the box” is supposed to be good for us…right? Yet, far too often, we find ourselves in the same routine, becoming complacent, comfortable and perhaps a little bit lazy. It’s all too easy to dwell in the comfort of…let’s say, an old pair of panties. Well, Women2Women made me think “outside of the drawer”. Hang on, you’ll understand in a second. Several months ago they approached me to take part in their “Pick Your Passion” Speaker Series. I was thrilled…until Southern-born Mimi, whom I love, gave me the title “Put Your Big Girl Britches On”. ‘Yipes!” I said, “I don’t talk like that.” As charming as her slight Southern manner is, I would not use the word “britches”. I pulled mine up and said so. Now, this is tough to do, but it is something that I have been practicing… so…I know where she was coming from first hand. We agreed to substitute the word “panties” instead. That ended up being only the beginning… I had a block. My creative drawer was closed…padlocked and sealed with Gorilla Glue. I had nothing. For a month, I would sit down to begin…blankness, empty pages, thrown away pages, creased forehead, grimaced faces, pouting lips… you’ve got the picture. I had procrastinated for nearly three months. Panic began to set in. It was Sunday, my big day was Thursday. It was all I could think of. Then, as I opened up my panty drawer, reaching for an old, holey pair to wear under my Sunday sweats cleaning outfit, my hand moved aside my good, work undies…there it was, my entire speech in one place, staring at me, drenched by a bright light, beckoning me to the lesson they were about to teach me. As I pulled them out, each pair had a story. I laughed, sitting down on my bed, and thought to myself “who knows or cares what panties I have on? Why did I pick these today? Why do I even still have them? Oh, look at these fancy ones…They were
so full of promise. I bought them for a special occasion. I put so many expectations into those panties. They let me down. They were expensive and I don’t even wear them anymore. I need to let go of that and start wearing them. They make me feel pretty, and damn it, I deserve to feel pretty every day! So many objects, in our lives, represent much more than what they are. I was forced to examine each of my panties, realizing that I had held on to some for too long. Some didn’t fit, others bothered me, some lay hidden, forgotten for the true gems they are. They were like friends, habits, goals…some needed to be discarded while others needed to be redeemed. This drawer, like the history of women’s undergarments, showed my evolution. It reminded me that I am who I am NOW, just as we are who we are collectively. Our past brought us here but our past doesn’t matter anymore. I cleaned that drawer out, reminisced a bit, saw that there were not very many comfortable ones left, and went shopping. I only got the ones that suited who I am now…casually selecting a precious few knowing that as I evolve, my taste in undergarments will too. As we grow together, as a gender, allow your man to see you, love you, and evolve at his rate. Raise your children with love and allow them to be who they are and will become. For just as our panties change, so is the world. So, thank you, Mimi! I took another look at who I am and where I‘m heading. Plus, I had a great time giving this talk! With Love, Coach Deb
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